Day 7 progressing me to new me

No self worth and Uncomfortable Gut!

Yesterday after a few mentoring sessions (yes, I am great at advising people), I felt a good sense of being valued and appreciated. YES, EUREKA.

I took both my kiddos and we went out to swimming. This is the most uncomfortable situation that I can put myself in. I hate being in public, let alone with my kids, and having to do something where I need to make conversations.

But the sense of appreciation just drove me to do what I needed to do for them.

… The sense of being valued drives me to live every single day of my life.

When I feel worthy, I feel like giving.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

My job doesn’t give me a sense of self worth at all. Neither does my colleagues or my manager. What the looks of it, it feels like they all want me gone. They want me to not exists in between them. I HATE MY JOB.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Hence Monday’s are the worst. I need to face all of them, the 20–30 number. I need to listen to their accomplishments last week, I need to tell them my failures and then I need to prepare myself for a meeting with my manager on Thursday where she will tell me how much I sucked at my job. WOW. What a butt load of crap.

All so that I can provide for my kids and put a roof over their heads.

NO NO NO.

ENOUGH. I CAN NOT KEEP LYING TO MYSELF. I NEED TO LET THIS BLOODY ASS JOB GO. GO for good.……………………………………………………………………..

I slept for 2 hours today in the afternoon. I knew that I needed it. I deserved it. I earned it by working during the weekend, not just for earning but also for my kids, for my house, for our groceries etc.

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Interview help, 1:1 mocks, strategies, AI, ML, DS

Mentor and prepare candidates for interviews. I write about solutions to known and upcoming problems. I educate and talk about mental health too.