Take it EASY- LET it go — ADVICE TO A MOM

• Translate : how can I make u understand my situation

I feel alone. I feel scared. I dont want to go back to the same relationships I had in the past. Specially the ones I ran away from. Definitely not my parents. They hated me, hated my guts, hated my style of living, wanted to domesticate me into to mewing cat, and I have been a roaring lion my entire life.

What kind of person I want my kids to see. Definitely a MOM .. let me rephrase .. a living Mother to the kids.

If I continue to take stress the way I am taking, there wont be any mom for the kids to see in the future.

Also, my overly exerted and exhausted self is making it hard for me to be the best mother and the friend for the kids. I can not do this to myself or to them.

So they need a living loving mom, for which I need maids and servants, who can cook, clean and drive me around.

I am a fierce mom, a strong mom, I decided to raise my two kids all by myself and yes, with the diabetes its difficult to manage the expectations of the kids, a full time job and the home.

I need to focus on only my health and making sure my kids have the best resources ( food, education and mental support).

Also making a little bit of money is also crucial, but not at the cost of my life.

I need a easy going, relaxed working culture where I can just make ends meet. Education is my best bet. But I can not just leave everything to go pursue a PHD or enter into an intensive program for educating myself for the next level… I gotta wait… I gotta prepare… I got to have a strategy… I have to let go of somethings to get some more important and pressing things first.

It is about taking a BACK STAGE.

It is about taking a C- or a may be a D- or may be failing at some tasks and still have a smiling enjoying attitude in life.[ Failure in life teaches u a lot, teaches u life, U can not have a life without letting go of things that do not matter right now, and when you fail, you learn from your mistakes and move on.]

If you live, your kids will live and be happy. You just need to be there and take it easy in life.

LET GO of your ego, your huge pride in yourself, your stupid anger towards everyone of your family members OR friends, coz u think in your mind that they did something wrong to you or they are angry at you ( come on, get the fuck out of that shit-ass mentality … they loved you … they may be angry but they love you, and they will stand by you in any situation),

Get humbled, and smile at your failures, know that you are not the BEST in the world, and

You ARE DONE PROVING YOURSELF TO your family and to others,

Tell your insecurity SHUT THE FUCK UP and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.